Sox game 8/13 - Ninapaloza

This post is late, and I have no excuse, except alcohol.  Ninapaloza kicked off with tailgating at the Cell and a game against the Detroit Tigers.  Whats this Ninapaloza you ask?  Simply a weekend long party celebrating her recent engagement - and Pocket Jeff Goldblum could not resist coming out to cause some trouble.

PJG tries to hail a beer man - but that lush remembers HE AINT GOT NO MONEY.  Free from the pocket and away from the chance to steal from my wallet, PJG needs to find a new way to get some beer.....

PJG completes his quest.....by mooching off of me - but this will only stand for so long.  At $8 a beer, I don't have the money to support his drankin.

Oh PJG, you skank!  That's my fucking cousin!  And right in front of her husband! 

The Cousin appears to be enjoying her time with PJG, while her husband appears to be getting ready to beat his tiny plastic ass.

Suddenly another cousin swiped PJG and gave him as much beer as he could handle.  Drowning in beer sounds like a sweet way to go, how do you like that you little smarmy skank?  Unfortunately, I informed the cousin that PJG spends most of his time in my pocket, rubbing up against my junk.  PJG was quickly tossed from his watery grave.

Shortly after PJG finished clearing his lungs of beer, it began to rain on our little escapade.  Everyone went home, and the mood was good.  However, for some, the mood was better.....

Oh Nina, you so crazy.

Oh PJG, you are turning into a lush.

Last night we all celebrated the 30th birthday of the Peter Kenar.  Not one to miss a party (as if he had a choice), Pocket Jeff Goldblum tagged along for a trip to the bar.  Much to my chagrin PJG demanded release from my pocket, as signaled by many stern punches to my package.  He could smell the booze, and nothing else could cure his shakes.

Double fisting already PJG?  We had just arrived and the small plastic man made it clear:  this night he would not be fucked with.

With a beer and a Red Bull and vodka inside him, PJG began to show off his strength to Peter.  He was foolish to thing he could impress such a meast, but he tried anyway.

As if to prove some sort of choas theory nonsense, PJG stole my smoke and began to brandish it at me in a threatening manor.  For a small plastic man who spends 90% of his time nestled against my penis, he sure thinks hes hot shit.

All the drinking and violent Apple slogan shouting began to make me mad, so I made PJG sit his salty ass down and relax.  WELCOME TO FLAVOR COUNTRY ASSHOLE.

Clearly here things are turning for the worse.  Unable to lift the pitcher and fill his own glass, PJG claimed a pitcher for himself (by vomiting on it, of course).  Right before I took this picture, he claimed he could drink the depth in one single sip. 

Thoroughly lubricated with spirits, PJG proceeded to give Peter his birthday present: a seductive dance.  This is the only picture I can post here - once the splits were finished PJG engaged his bulging biceps and tried to give Peter a happy ending.  Hilarity did not ensue. 

From the dark past

A few weeks ago my friend Justin got married.  I was on call for work, so I behaved myself.  Pocket Jeff Goldblum, on the other hand, decided to take advantage of the open bar.

At first he kept it classy - some Chardonnay with dinner.  Notice how he is lifting his arms, mocking my assertion that he would not be able to lift the glass to his plastic lips.  How wrong I was.

PJG has enough of that frilly finery however, and decided to enjoy the full taste experience of triple hops brewing. 

Clearly at this point his tiny plastic body had reached its limit.  After showing off all night, hanging out with various well wishers and taking some photos in the photo booth, PJG was saturated with alcohol and ready to go home. 

As soon as I have a chance to scan in the picture from the photo booth I will post it here.